


And on the other side, there is you.

by saphique



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, Jealousy, Love, Self-Acceptance, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Self-Reflection, Sibling Bonding, Sister-Sister Relationship, Zelda Spellman POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:47:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23265676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saphique/pseuds/saphique
Summary: And what is most surprising about you, dear sister, is that your self-esteem is also directed towards others: you love unconditionally, while I am put off by life as much as I am disgusted with myself.
Relationships: Hilda Spellman/Zelda Spellman
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	And on the other side, there is you.

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Et de l’autre côté, il y a toi.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23265346) by [saphique](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saphique/pseuds/saphique). 



I am afraid of myself, to tell the truth… I fear my actions as well as my words which sometimes exceed my thoughts. I feel absolutely no love for myself, despite the fact that elevating and cunning intentions run through my being : ambition, mischief, indifference and egoism.

All these ambitions in an attempt to feed this non-existent self-esteem. Most of the time, I regret the consequences of my actions, carried by overly vivid emotions. I’m aware of the effect I have on others, but I don't like myself. Self-disgust often takes precedence over self-respect. Because few motions come to cure this hatred towards myself, I participate in the vicious circle of damaging gestures, since the only guarantee left is to be feared and respected by others rather than loved by myself.

And on the other side, there is you.

You are just the opposite, Hildie. You respect yourself; I know it. You experience enviable esteem for yourself. You certainly know that you can’t please everyone, you often see your kindness being discouraged, you recognize many times that your sweetness disappoints.

In fact, you understand you are frequently described as exasperating, when in fact, you’re basically honoring your profound nature by being yourself.

Despite all this, you are persistent, you continue your quest for happiness that you manage to find even in the smallest corners of the world, in the tiny details.

As my frustration grows, as the smallest signs of self-love dissipates in me, you, dear Hilda, shamelessly offer yourself the gift of self-esteem.

You appreciate yourself deeply to be sure that life can bring the essential, or rather, it is your self-esteem that makes sure you always find what you need. You perceive the meaning of life, permitted little pleasures, achievements disengaged from individualism. And what is most surprising about you, dear sister, is that your self-esteem is also directed towards others: you love unconditionally, while I am put off by life as much as I am disgusted with myself.

Maybe you could teach me how to love, Hilda, if only I could repress this deadly urge to kill you with jealousy every moment I see the love of life warming your heart.


End file.
